Reason #3: You Are Fighting Your Reality!

You may be kicking and screaming your way through this motherhood journey. And I get it. Society lied. Life as a mom is not like the movies.

It’s not as simple as many would like you to believe.

It can be very complex. With the different personalities and dreams you had for yourself, and let’s not forget the hormones thrown into the mix, you may be ready to throw in the towel.

You are not alone. 

Do not feel guilty about not wanting to be a mom after you have had your children because the reality of it is motherhood is a challenging journey. One of the most challenging journies, second to being a brain and heart surgeon, because one wrong move from them and you are gone forever. It can also be demanding and lonely.

But don’t lose yourself.

You got this, mama!

One of the most important things you need to remember is that you are human and, it is ok not to have all the answers and feel as if you do not want to be a parent today.

While you may not know what to do, our Heavenly Father knows what you should do. Seek Him and be prepared to listen because He will speak, and you should move accordingly.

Motherhood is no walk in the park, but that will not change this important fact: You. Are. A. Mother. And the best one if you choose to be that to your child.

Being a mom does not mean that you have to give up living and having fun. It does mean that you have little people who are dependent on you. They are relying on you to not only make the right and best choices for their well-being but also to determine the best choices for you, their mother.

If you are not at your best for you, you will not be at your best for them and, things will only start to go downhill from there.
You are not alone.

You are not alone.

Acknowledge How You Feel Right Now

How are you feeling, mama?

At this present moment, what feelings are going through your body?

What’s going through your mind?

An important thing that you can do right now is, acknowledge how you are feeling. Admit that this is not what you expected. Then after you’ve given yourself time to grieve and mourn the life you had before your little one(s), put on your superwoman cape and create a game plan to live the life that you want to have. You may just start living the life that God has wanted for you all along.

It is still attainable and is prevalent more than ever. The difference is you now have someone else to share it with who deserves to have the best start in life.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Reason #4: You Do Not Know Who You Are Anymore

Before the kids, if you did not have a plan, you were trying to figure out what you should do with your life. The question of who you are to be was probably constantly floating around in your mind.

Maybe you had it all figured out and planned to have a baby much later in life when those plans panned out.
Or maybe you fell somewhere in the middle. You had an idea of what you wanted to accomplish before you started a family but still were not 100% sold on if you should be doing it.

Maybe past experiences made it easy for you to forget the idea altogether because you felt inadequate and didn’t want to become the parent your parents were.

Or maybe you don’t fall in either of those groups. Perhaps you decided early on, rather than being on the fence about it, that you did not want to embark on any journey remotely close to motherhood. You were good just being by yourself without having the responsibility of taking care of someone else. Then the voices around you convinced you that life wouldn’t be complete without children.

Then BAM! Life throws you a monkey wrench, and now you have a tiny human that soaks in everything you do.

Do Not Lose Yourself

Fast forward to today, with a baby added to the jambalaya of life, things are much different in this life compared to the one you were previously working towards living.

The focus now is shifted from what could have been to what is, the innocent life in front of you. A life that is, once again, dependent on you for their survival. As a result, whatever plans we had or were working towards, get put on the back burner two stoves back.

With all the attention on your home, family, and little to no attention on yourself, it is easy to get lost in it all. So much so that you now wonder, who is that woman staring back at you in the mirror? You begin to lose sight of who you are because you’re mourning for who you were.

It’s easy to think back to your former life because that is when things made the most sense. It’s something you had control over, even if you were figuring it out. It was your routine.

So the woman staring back at you is a stranger, and life seems like the twilight zone. You wish you could just pinch yourself and wake up from it all.

So, while you may not know who you are, God is trying to get through all that noise in your head to remind you of who you are in Him.

You are phenomenal. You are a vessel that helps to bring forth life. You are God’s modern-day disciple blessed with the mission of raising up the next generation of disciples for Christ. You are loved and worth dying for.

Don’t allow the devil to steal your joy and keep you in this season when God wants you to keep going to get you through this storm.

Find Yourself

The choices you make now will at times be a reflection of where you wish you were before the kids came into the picture. But remember, whether good or bad, the ones to suffer or benefit from it will be the ones who did not ask to come here.

But just as with any career venture, you learn and grow into the person you are meant to become eventually. It all depends on how long or quickly it takes you to get to your destination. Motherhood is no exception to the rule.

Do not lose heart and do not give up.

As demanding as it may be, you are on a new adventure.
Set your eyes on new ambitions and new goals for yourself and your family.

In my experience, especially as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), I have learned that I am now rediscovering who I am and can potentially be.

It is exciting and sometimes filled with worry, but you can do it!

You Are In Excellent Hands

Rediscovering, discovering, and uncovering parts of who you are that you never knew existed or were even present within you, is in itself life-changing. Allow yourself to walk in your purpose. Don’t lose the essence of what makes you, well, you.

It will free you and allow you to see just how fulfilling life as a mother, but importantly, as a woman with purpose, can be.

Allow yourself the opportunity to live a purposeful filled life. To live a life that God wants you to have. A life, according to Jeremiah 29:11 that is filled with prosperity, hope, and a future.

A future that to see, you have to live through these times to experience for yourself.

God wants you to live an abundant life. He doesn’t want you to be harmed in any way. So trust that even though life isn’t going how you planned, God has got you, girl. God has the backup plan you need to make this work.

You are covered. So keep doing what you need to do and let God work everything out on your behalf.

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